Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. However, when conflict is frequent and starts to follow a pattern, it may be a sign that something is unhealthy or abusive.
The examples below may be some of the indicators a relationship is abusive:
- Physical abuse - grabbing; pushing; slapping; kicking; punching; hitting; choking; using objects to inflict harm; punching wall or breaking things
- Threats - making or carrying out threats of harm to yourself or the other person; threatening to leave the relationship.
- Possessiveness - using jealousy as a sign of love; accusing them of cheating without reason; discouraging other friendships; telling them how to think, feel or act
- Tech abuse- constantly contacting you through texts/calls/social media ect; monitoring their social media; demanding access to their phone, email accounts, social media, banking apps; using GPS to track their movements
- Humiliation - putting them down; making them feel bad about themselves; name-calling; constant criticism; embarrassing them
- Domination - treating them like a baby, property or servant; making all the decisions; having expectations no-one can meet; controlling who they have contact with; controlling what they wear or do
- Sexual abuse – pressuring them using force, guilt, manipulation, intimidation into sexual activity; having sex with them when unable to consent for example under the influence of drugs/alcohol; non-consensual sexual activity
- Financial abuse- controlling all household income; control over spending; taking out debts in your name; preventing you from working/making you work a certain amount of hours
- Intimidation - yelling; screaming; using a threatening tone; throwing objects; moving your body aggressively; holding something that could be used as a weapon
- Minimisation & Blame - Not accepting responsibility for your actions; making a joke about having caused harm; telling them it's always their fault; making them feel that they are crazy
If you have any concerns about a relationship you are in, please know you are not alone and that support is available.
Urgent support
If you are concerned about your immediate safety, please call 999.
Support at LSBU
You can report abuse on the Report and Support platform. Someone from the Mental Health and Wellbeing Team will then reach out to offer support.
For further information on LSBU’s policies and procedures please see the webpage Preventing and Responding to Student Harassment And Sexual Misconduct | London South Bank University
External Specialist Support
- The 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline - call 0808 2000 247
- Refuge - confidential advice and support for women and children experiencing domestic violence
- Respect - advice and support for men experiencing domestic abuse
- Solace Women's Aid – confidential advice and support for those affected by domestic violence in London
- Southall Black Sisters – support for Black (Asian and African-Caribbean) women affected by gender-based violence, with a helpline number 020 8571 0800 (Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm)
- Sistah Space: domestic abuse services for African heritage women and girls.
- Women and Girls Network - supporting women in London who have experienced violence, with a support line number 0808 801 0660
- Woman's Trust– supporting women from across London with free counselling, workshops and support groups to rebuild their lives after abuse.
- Galop - supporting members of the LGBT+ community who are affected by domestic violence, sexual violence and hate crime, with a National LGBT+ Domestic Violence helpline number 0800 999 5428
Apps:
- Bright Sky is a free mobile app for anyone who is concerned that they or someone they know is in an abusive relationship
- Hollie Guard App - a free app for smartphones designed to offer additional protection
Please see these FAQ's for further information:
What should I do in an emergency situation?
What is Report and Support?
What is the SafeZone app and where can I get it?
What is harassment?
